tbh my heart is real different than it was last year this time around
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So I found out a few months ago that wanting to ‘not exist’ or wishing you could ‘just sleep forever’ is also considered suicidal (specifically suicidal idealization). It shocked me cause I used to think that way when I was younger but had previously thought that being suicidal meant explicitly wanting to die.. but it actually involves wanting to not live too.
I think its an important thing to note cause it might allow someone to realize the severity of their condition earlier.
i think so much about that quote “a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort” by Gillian Flynn because thats basically female socialization in a nutshell. We’re taught to hate ourselves and our bodies so self destruction looks pleasant and romantic.
worst part of adulthood so far is definitely the fact that people have the ability to contact me and i have to respond in a timely manner
i HATE that i live in a world where people are considered lucky if they can find a long-term romantic partner who has a healthy, respectful, and non traumatic dynamic with them
Lets talk about how hard it is to open up to someone about being sad for no reason. Lets talk about how hard it is to explain to your friends and family that you have this heavy feeling in your chest for no reason. Lets talk about how hard it is to understand why you’re having a panic attack while just taking a walk back home. Lets talk about how hard it is to understand your own self and how scary it is to feel like the whole world is falling on your shoulders and you have no idea why .